Ain't no place like home
by ThErE-aRe-No-PrInCe-ChArMiNgS
Summary: Hermione up and left for good old Texas. Running away from her problems was not something she did, till now. Going back for a visit, she sees Him again and all the reasons she left are yanking her back to the land she now calls home. Summary's bad, sorry.
1. home sweet home

Disclaimer: If I owned anything do you really think that I would be slaving away at college trying to get good grades so that I _can_ get a good paying job?

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_She lay in his arms, her head resting against his strong chest. Her ears listening to the steady beating of his heart. His arms crossed over her stomach holding her close, chin resting on the tangled strands of her hair. They were cuddled on the couch staring into the flickering flame glowing in the fireplace. Both had a distant look in their eyes._

_"You don't have to, you can stay with me."_

_"It's not that easy."_

_A moment of silence passed and she spoke again, "Well, I guess that means we…"_

_"Don't say it."_

_"No, it's no use, we could never be together."_

_"So I guess tomorrow, 'we' never happened."_

_"Yeah…"_

_A tear fell onto his hand and he looked down at the girl in his arms, quietly crying. He felt his eyes moisten as he watched her._

_"I'll miss you."_

_"Me too."_

_He leaned down and softly kissed her._

* * *

Hermione walked into her small, run-down apartment. The wallpaper was peeling, revealing concrete walls. The paper itself was a pale white color, yellowed from years of water stains and poor upkeep. The floor was solid concrete with small holes standing as the only sign that there ever was a carpet. Now a small, dirty, torn rug served as flooring in, what she called, the living room. It was an extension from the kitchen originally planned to be the dining area, but now it was both. The fridge had food in it that had expired Merlin knows how long ago. The microwave had a bowl of leftovers which could be heated up to make a decent breakfast and on the stove were pots and pans cluttered everywhere with remains of the meals from which they were used to cook. To the side, a small door led to the bedroom. There was only a small twin sized mattress with a blanket tossed over it and a rather flat pillow at the end. A lamp stood among a sea of books strewn all over the ground beside the bed. The bathroom contained of a simple toilet, which barely functioned as it should, and a sink that clogged every second it got the chance. A cracked mirror needed to be replaced. One could not see his or her appearance without having to dodge the spots that covered it. A small tub was placed in the corner with a rusty showerhead and handles that looked like they would prefer to stay the way there were, thank you very much.

Hermione sighed as she hung her coat on a nail protruding from the wall. She shed her waitress uniform and left them scattered on her bedroom floor as she grabbed a towel from the chair back and disappeared into the bathroom for a shower. Hermione finished quickly so that the other tenants wouldn't complain about having no hot water. She dressed and went out to the crumbling bench near her apartment. Staring out at the dried grasses that the horses were lazily munching, she thought of England. Hermione simply adored Texas with the ranches and open spaces, but it could never fill the hole in her heart that was Home. She couldn't go back anyway, not with what she did. Her friends would probably act as if they didn't know her. The girl shook her head as unwanted memories flooded her mind. Getting up, she quickly made her way back to make dinner.

When Hermione stepped in, the piles of papers and trash on the table were ringing. She shoved the mess off the table to reveal the source of the ringing. She picked up the receiver and dropped it back down, hanging up and whoever was calling. Pouring some water into a foam container of instant noodles, Hermione sat down to eat. The phone rang again and this time, she answered. Another salesman trying to get her to buy some product of another. She told the man to save his breath and hung up, then proceeded to finish her dinner.


	2. chappie II

Disclaimer: If you're one of those people who are obsessed with having to see a disclaimer, go to chapter one.

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"Table 3 needs more salt. That man needs at least 10 pounds worth of salt on his fries so they're edible," Lauren said in disgust.

Hermione smiled as she grabbed a few saltshakers, "He comes every Thursday and orders salt with a side dish of chicken fried steak and fries."

Lauren nodded in agreement and went off to get a straw for some lady who didn't want to touch the cup. The pair had been good friends ever since their manager gave them bathroom duty for a month.

A few hours later, Lauren and Hermione were cleaning up and getting ready to leave and lock up.

"Wanna go grab a smoothie or something?" Lauren asked, stacking chairs onto the tables.

"Sure, why not."

Hermione was sipping a strawberry-orange smoothie, sitting on a bench with Lauren in some park nearby. It was nice, but she kind of missed the horses that usually lived so near her. They had lapsed into a comfortable silence with only the occasional slurp breaking the silence, until a pale owl dropped from the sky between them.

"A letter!" Lauren cried out then noticing Hermione's shocked face, "I mean, er, a bird. Hope she isn't hurt."

"Now how would you know about owls and letters?" Hermione grinned, hoping her guess was right. It had been so long since she'd spoken to another one. She held out her hand, "Hermione Granger from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Fine, you caught me!" she laughed and shook her hand, "Lauren Vadala, graduated from Mayflower Academy for Young Witches and Warlocks nice to meet you. Now let's see who your note's from."

Hermione chuckled as she stroked the ruffled feathers of the snowy owl that had just hopped onto her knee, "Hedwig?"

The owl gave a joyous hoot and stuck out her leg. Hermione untied the letter and recognized Harry's neat scrawl.

"Lauren, want to come over to my place? I need to get Hedwig some water and she's exhausted," Hermione motioned at the now napping owl on her leg.

"Of course, how else will I be able to chat with the only witch I know of in this hick town?" Lauren grinned as she told her friend she'd follow in her car.

They drove past rolling fields and horses grazing until they reached the rundown apartment complex where Hermione lived.

"Home sweet home," Hermione announced throwing open her door revealing the tattered room within. She placed Hedwig on the counter and put a bowl of water and some crackers next to her.

Lauren plopped down onto the couch, disregarding the mess. "So, where's Hogwarts?"

"England." A pained look came across Hermione's face as memories fought to submerge in her mind, but she pushed them back. She tossed the letter onto her bed and dropped down next to Lauren, "It's been 4 years…"

"I'm hungry, you want a cookie?" Lauren declared suddenly.

"I don't have any," Hermione started.

"Don't worry about that." Lauren pulled out a thin wooden stick Hermione recognized as a wand and flicked it. A steaming plate of chocolate chip cookies appeared out of thin air and settled itself upon the coffee table, "So, tell me about Hogwarts."

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A/N- In the part where I call a town in Texas a 'hick town' I'm not insulting Texas or anything, for those of you fellow Texans who might've taken offence. 


	3. chappie III

Disclaimer: See chapter two.

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"See you tomorrow!" Lauren waved out the window as she drove off.

Hermione went to her bedroom and dropped onto the mattress. There was a crinkling sound as she lay back.

Harry's note! She thought, I'd completely forgotten about it.

Hermione pulled the folded parchment from under her shoulder and turned on the lamp by her head. She opened it and proceeded to read without noticing the item wrapped within the note falling out and rolling out of sight.

_Hermione,_

_Hey, it's been a while. Wherever you are, do you think maybe you could come back? Just for a week or two. Please? I promise that Ron and Ginny, and the rest of the Weasleys at that, won't know. I just want to talk. Your parents send their love._

_Harry_

Hermione noticed a wet spot on the parchment and realized it was her own tear. She had just left without telling anyone, not even her parents. If she went back, that would mean she'd see them. Everyone she'd hurt. Throwing the note aside, Hermione pulled the sheets around her and went to sleep.

In the morning, she got up and dressed for work without another thought of Harry's letter. All day she got orders, served the food, scrubbed the tables and started over again, not even complaining when her boss gave her bathroom duty. The only thing on her mind was Harry's note, no matter how hard she tried to forget, and whether or not she should go back. Hermione returned home, stripped her uniform off and took a steamy shower. She sat down on the floor after she'd gotten dressed again and stared at the note where it lay. Hermione noticed something partially sticking out from under her bedside table and, carefully with her index finger and thumb, pulled out a thin wooden rod. She gasped and dropped it upon looking at it closer. Her wand. There was another note tied to the end with only a few words written on it.

"Love Mum and Dad."

Tears sprung up in her eyes and with a new determination, dialed her manager's number.

"Hi, it's Hermione Granger… Yes, I called to say I'm not coming to work for about a week… Yes I know it's sudden… I don't care if I had to have told you a week in advance… No it can't wait… No… I have to go, good bye." She hung up and brought her hand to her face, "I'll have bathroom duty for a year for that if I'm not fired."

She scribbled a quick note to Harry, asking him to meet her at the Leaky Cauldron at 6 on July 18th and gave it to Hedwig. The owl spread her wings and soared out door Hermione threw open for her.

Hermione then called Lauren, but she didn't answer so Hermione just left a short message. She threw some things into a suitcase, grabbed her purse and was out the door hoping she could catch a plane.

Hermione walked out of the airport and called a taxi.

"Where to?" The man asked in a gruff voice. He looked to be 65, at least.

Hermione gave him her parents' address and sat back, hoping they wouldn't be too angry with her. They arrived and the taxi driver helped Hermione get her bag from the trunk and, after getting paid, sped off. The girl stood at the curb for several minutes gathering the courage for the task ahead. She rolled her bag up to the door and rung the bell without hesitation.

A small woman with graying hair pulled back into a loose bun opened the door.

"Hey Mum," Hermione greeted, smiling awkwardly.

"Who—Hermione!" The woman cried out and promptly fainted.


	4. chappie IV

Disclaimer: See chapter three.

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"Mum!" Hermione rushed forward and lifted her mother into a sitting position. She had pulled her wand out and levitated her mother into the air when Hermione's father came running down the stairs. Mr. Granger stopped dead on the bottom step when he saw his daughter.

"Hermione…" He choked out. Finally being able to move again, he grabbed his daughter into a bear hug. He remembered his wife and picked her up from where she was still floating and carried her to the couch.

A lot of talking, many hugs and floods of tears later, Hermione was on her way to the Leaky Cauldron to meet Harry.

Hermione stepped into the dim room and walked over to the bar.

"Hi Tom, could I get a glass of water?"

"Hermione? Haven't seen you around lately. Sure, coming right up."

Hermione took the glass from Tom and scanned the room. She spotted an empty table and sat down. A few minutes later, a raven-haired man stood across from her.

"Harry!" Hermione got up and hugged him, "I've missed you."

"Missed you too! I'm so glad you came." Harry held Hermione back at arm's length, "Damn, woman, you've changed!"

"Meant in the best way possible I'm sure," Hermione gave her friend's arm a playful slap.

"Hey, I've got a room upstairs. Let's go talk in there, more privacy."

Harry led the way up the stairs so a door with old metal numbers nailed to it. He pulled out a key and opened the door, bowing Hermione in.

"So, how've you been?" Harry asked unsure of what to say. There went 3 hours of practicing in front of the mirror out the window.

"Pretty good, I guess."

"Where have you been? And why did you leave?" He decided just to blurt it out, "Hermione? Why did you… you know, do that to Ron?"

"The U.S., Texas to be exact. I left because, well, I just couldn't take it. You were all mad at me and my parents were shocked that I'd act so rudely and were irritated, to say the least, with me. Everyone was just against me so I just… ran." Hermione had brought her knees to her chest and was threatening to cut the blood flow off by hugging them tightly.

"He loved you. I just don't understand why, why you did that… to him… to everyone."

"He— I— You— My heart just wasn't in it okay?"

"Then why did you agree to marry him in the first place?" Harry at this point was becoming desperate for an answer.

"It was right after 7th year… I was depressed… at the altar I just sort of, woke up. I don't know, I was going crazy and everyone was trying to calm me down and continue the ceremony."Tears hadstarted flowing from her eyes, "They wouldn't stop and I just hexed her. Mrs. Weasley was like a second mother to me for so many years and I hexed her! By the way, is Ginny okay? I know she probably had a black eye for a bit."

"She was fine." He ventured a guess, preparing himself to be yelled at, "So you love someone else?"

Hermione gasped and her head shot up from her arms. It was enough to answer Harry's question and he risked another.

"Who?"

Hermione mumbled something into her arms, where once more her head lay, but Harry didn't catch it.

"Could you repeat that?"

Hermione stared into Harry's eyes and opened her mouth to answer, but decided against it. "Never mind, I don't want to talk about it."

A few days after her chat with Harry, Hermione paid a visit to Diagon Alley. Rather reluctantly at that. She was buying all sorts of candies Lauren asked for when Ron and Ginny walked up. For five minutes the pair stared at Hermione, and she started back. Ron hung his head, unable to look at Hermione, much less talk to her. Ginny on the other hand, had plenty to say and immediately started yelling at the top of her lungs. Hermione quickly paid for the candy and fled. She got to the Leaky Cauldron, Ginny's screams echoing down the Alley and in her head. Tears sprung into Hermione's eyes but she refused to cry. It was, after all, her fault Ginny was mad so she couldn't blame her. Mad being an understatement. Hermione ran to the door leading to the London street, nearly knocking over a man coming in.

"Sor—" She locked eyes with who she'd ran into. Him. She could see the shock in his face and before he could even try to say anything, Hermione scurried away before He could even blink. Behind her sat one very confused, yet curious, Harry Potter. He went back to drinking his ale and reading his newspaper after the man in the doorway regained his senses and walked away.


	5. chappie V

Disclaimer: See chapter four.

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Hermione walked up the ramp towards the terminal. Lauren was standing there. She spotted her friend and ran forward, squeezing the life out of the poor girl.

"Hey! How was it?" Lauren was giddy with happiness from seeing her friend again. (Yes Lauren, I'm making you giddy D)

"It was… fine."

They grabbed Hermione's bag from the carousel and headed off to Lauren's car. The two had finallyforced the bag into the trunk when Hermione collapsed on the ground, bawling. Lauren dropped down and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"Hermione, it's ok. Hush hon, come on, let's get you to bed." Lauren helped Hermione into the back and drove off.

When they reached Hermione's apartment, Lauren levitated the suitcase up the stairs while she helped Hermione up. Hermione was still weak and nearly collapsed again. She was led into her room by Lauren, who then turned off the lights and quietly left after Hermione fell asleep.

Hermione woke the next morning with the sun shining on her face. She got up and went to the window, staring out at the horses in the pasture. Yanking herself away from the beautiful sight, Hermione went to the kitchen to make some coffee and sat down on the couch with a warm mug in her hands. A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door and Lauren walked in.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

Hermione stared up at her friend. After a moment of silence, she told Lauren everything.

Everything.

"—And they were just so angry with me, I ran away and bumped into…"

"Him?"

"Yeah," Hermione looked down at her feet, trying to push His face from her mind.

"You've told me basically you're entire life story and I'm yet to hear the name of this guy you love." Lauren grinned, "Want some pizza? It's 1 and I skipped breakfast."

"Sure, the phone's over there… somewhere." Hermione waved a hand in the relative direction of where the phone lay hidden in stacks of stuff.

"I was thinking of an easier way," Lauren pulled out her wand, flicked it and a large pepperoni pizza appeared. "So much better than hotdogs!"

She shivered as she thought of the evil food and grabbed a slice of pizza.

Hermione followed suit, "What, no drinks?"

With a wave of her own wand, two cans of Dr. Pepper popped up.

"Efficient, no?" Lauren laughed as she grabbed a can and opened it.

They continued to eat without saying a word, each enjoying the warm sun and slight breeze coming in through the window.

"Let's go back, for good," Lauren suggested suddenly.

"Go… back?" Hermione was unsure of what she just heard.

"Yes, back to England."

"You want to come too?"

"Of course! How else will I get more Chocolate Frogs?" Lauren chuckled as she got up and raised her voice, "Let's get out of this hell-hole!"

"What about work?" Hermione still wasn't too sure about going back and desperate to find an excuse to stay.

"Well that manager can just go screw herself for all I care. Let her do the damn bathroom duty!" Lauren was getting excited about going, "Come on, you know you want to."

"I don't know…"

"Hermione!"

"But…"

"Do you really want to stay here?"

"Not really but…"

"Then let's go!"

Lauren's face was red from screaming and the people living in the apartment above were stomping on the floor letting the two girls know that screaming at during their afternoon nap should earn them heavy fines. Hermione's cheeks were streaked with tears.

She jumped up and nearly strangled Lauren with a hug, "Thanks."

Lauren grinned when she realized she'd won.

They were going to England. Not just going, they were moving!


	6. chappie VI

Disclaimer: See chapter five.

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"Where's the tool box?" 

Lauren was searching through the mounds of boxes, throwing items here and there, searching for a screwdriver to finish putting together the furniture.

"How should I know?" Hermione's voice shot out from a wall of cardboard near the small kitchen, "I think you're boxes are the ones closer to the door."

It had been a week since they moved into the tiny London apartment and still everything was tucked away in Merlin knows how many boxes. A mini maze had been created within the room, stacks here and piles there, oh and the couch way over there in the kitchen. Lauren waded her way towards the front door, accidentally bumping into one of the precarious towers.

"Oh shit…" Lauren ducked quickly and grabbed a side in an attempt to stabilize the swaying stack.

The top box shifted and leaned dangerously on the box below it. Muttering curses, Lauren backed away just as the folded cardboard crashed a few inches away from her. The things packed within tumbled out and a metal case clunked on to the ground, the tools inside making a clinging sound as the box was shaken up. Before Lauren could rescue her tool chest, a few more boxes fell, burying the much-needed screwdriver.

"Damn it!" Lauren all but yanked her hair from its reluctant roots.

"Ready to actually get to work and unpack everything, finally?"

Lauren glared at Hermione's grinning face peeking around one of the maze walls. The three-year-old inside Lauren stuck her tongue out and started digging for her tools. Laughing, Hermione lifted a box labeled 'DISHES-FRAGIL' and shifted threw the contents as she carried it to the kitchen.

"What do you mean 'finally'?" Lauren cried out from her sea of stuff. All she heard in response was her friend's giggles.

Lauren blew a strand of hair from her face as she set to work cleaning up the mess so she could finally finish putting the table back together. She, for one, was getting sick of having to protect her food so it wouldn't be a box's next victim. Those greedy boxes wanted everything.

"Hey, while you're in the kitchen, wanna make us some coffee?"

A muffled voice called back, "Want to find the coffee maker?"

Lauren groaned and she dragged her box of clothes and started putting it all away in the dresser, which by the way, still needed to be moved into her bedroom. She groaned again when she got up to push the heavy furniture just to find her path blocked by, you won't believe it, more boxes. Instead the groaning American heaved two more, smaller yet heavier, cases of dishes and kitchen stuffs to help Hermione.

"Damn I hate moving."

"Join the club, this is the second time I'm unpacking most of this stuff." Hermione's voice drifted up from behind the fridge, "Will you give me a hand pushing this so I can plug it in? Idiot moving men… just as bad as in Texas… can't do anything right…" Hermione continued to hiss complaints as she and Lauren shoved the fridge about three inches and then back into place.

"Now we just need food in there."

Lauren's stomach grumbled in agreement.

"Yes well, if Lauren's a good girl and helps unpack plenty of boxes, we'll take you out for some food," Hermione had a serious look on her face as she spoke to Lauren's stomach.

"Trying to bribe it huh? Well it won't work!"

Her stomach rumbled again.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Well, since we can't move much around without getting rid of the boxes… Let's start by moving our boxes into whichever room their contents are for. Yes that means carrying your box of clothes from one end of the apartment to the other… again." Hermione grinned, remembering how Lauren had to continually move her boxes all over the apartment because the moving men kept complaining that they were in the way.

"Slave driver…" Lauren chuckled as she picked up the cursed box of garments and all but threw it into her room.

"Texas was a slave state…" Hermione trailed off in uncontrollable giggles.

"_Was_. Key word there hon." Lauren turned to face the gasping girl, "So you gonna move your stuff of what? You have a deal with my stomach and I'll see that you keep it!"

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I find it amusing the reviews for this are from chapters 2 or 5 only, hehe, yes I know, I'll shut up.

- - - -

Serlene- yeah, it is really rushed… I guess I was trying to get them to England ASAP. I hope it'll slow down a bit now; I'm just a crappy writer.

crazy-maysi- hehe, thought you'd like the hotdog part (evil food!)

- - - -

Sorry, still not sure who the 'mystery man' is going to be so updates will be slower until that's decided. -btw- umm… since I still haven't decided on Hermione's mystery guy, as you've dubbed him, anyone have an opinion to whom you want?


	7. chappie VII

Disclaimer: See chapter six.

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"Mmmmmm… salad good." 

"Honestly, could you swallow before you talk?" Hermione stifled back laughter as she watched her friend pourmore honey mustard dressing over the crisp green leaves. "You're exactly like Ron: Stuff your face, then talk. Y'all could just screw swallowing."

"Hmm," Lauren swallowed before replying, "Y'all said with an English accent…"

"Stuff it."

"I will, thank you." With that, Lauren proceeded to move the dressing-glazed lettuce leaves to her mouth till no more would go in.

"You're hopeless."

Arms linked, Lauren window-shopped while Hermione showed her around. They chatted about school and which teachers were real bitches. Well, mostly about Lauren's school life. Hermione didn't want to talk about Hogwarts and, though she was dying to know, Lauren never asked.

"Hey, this looks like a cute place. Wanna go in?"

Hermione snapped out of her thoughts and saw where they were.

"We should get back. We've still got a lot of boxes to unpack."

"Wha—" Lauren cut herself off when she saw Hermione stiffen. She did not want to be within aten miles radius of the place from the look on her face. "C'mon, let's go then. Can we stop for some ice cream? I saw this place a little ways back..."

Hermione let a small, partially forced,laugh escape as Lauren swung them around, "You really are like Ron—"

Both girls stopped as they ran straight into a man heading, without doubt, to the pub Lauren had been looking at no more than seconds before. He was at least a head taller than the girls. It didn't look like he worked out much and his red hair was a mess. Lauren notice he was staring hard at them. No, not _them_,just at Hermione. She turned and saw Hermione returning his gaze with a determinded look in her eyes. Her lip quivered ever so slightly, but enough for Lauren to know who ever this guy was, he needed to just fuck off.

"Dude, didn't your mommy ever teach you it's rude to stare? Or do you want me to give you a couple black eyes so you won't? Just go away. Oh and get a haircut. You look like a boggart got the better of you. C'mon." With that, not even noticing she used a magical creature to compare the guy to, Lauren dragged Hermione away towards the little ice cream shop a few blocks down. The staring contest shattered, theman turned and watched them as Hermione let herself be pulled away rather willingly, not looking back.

Lauren, on the other hand, noticed. Sheturned around and with a quiet "You asked for it" let her fist fly, hitting her mark. Herhand was a light shade of blue from the bloodrushing there from the force of the blow. Lauren went back to Hermione and continued to drag her to the ice cream shop, leaving Mr. CarrotHead to get his butt of the street and walk into the pub with a hand over his eye. From the corner of her eye, Lauren saw a smile struggling to form on Hermione's reluctant lips.

The pair got their ice cream and went back to tearing down the the cardboard walls of the maze within their apartment.

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teenwriter22- now that i think about it, the mystery guy can't be harry... unless i want to rewrite the last sentence in chapter... something... which i'm too lazy to do :) 

draco- 2, ron- 2 not helping too much... :)


	8. chappie VIII

Disclaimer: See chapter seven.

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Hey, sorry for those of you who just want to read, but I've been asked (more like ordered) to add an author's-friend-note here real quick :)

hey yall! its crazymaysi (F'lessan's BESTEST friend and inspiration for this story ;-p) anyway I am just apologizing for her negligence to update this story. She at first refused to update because I forgot/ was to lazy to review. Once I FINALLY got around to reviewing she just decided to put it off even more, forcing me to once again NAG her to update. now it seems my nagging has FINally payed off and here is her new chapter- its ermm shall we say…interesting! Any complaints or disputes with anything said about hotdogs or post-its for that matter should be taken up w/ us in a review and we shall do our PERSONAL best to respond to each and every one of you!  
much love- peace up A-town  
crazymaysi

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"You are going to show me where the nearest club is, and you are coming with me!" Lauren banged on the bathroom door where Hermione had taken refuge. "We are going to party, get drunk and sing Christmas carols without even realizing it!"

"Will you stop attacking the door? I'm trying to read here and the sound of you abusing wood isn't helping," Hermione yelled back.

"Reading in the bathtub again? What are you doing, reading it a bedtime story?"

Hermione quickly moved from the bathtub onto the tiled floor and leaned against the wall. "I'm not in the tub and the only reason I'm even in here is so you don't steal my book and try to flush it again!"

"Now, now, we both know that if you would just agree to come with me, I wouldn't need to resort to that… or this," Lauren added quietly, grinned at the door and muttered something as she waved her wand.

Hermione's screams filled the little apartment a second later followed by the bathroom door blasting open, just barely managing to stay on its hinges. Lauren peeked from her hiding place behind the couch and went into hysterical laughing fits. In the doorway stood Hermione, wrapped like a mummy in toilette paper with the toilette seat around her neck like a necklace and a towel hanging from it like a cape. Her book seemed to be glued to her head by a bar of soap.

"LAUREN! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND UNDO YOUR SPELL!"

Lauren tried desperately to stop laughing… unsuccessfully.

"Only if…" Burst of laughter. "…you go with me to…" Laughter. "…the club and have…" Peals of laughter. "fun." More laughter. "Can't breathe…" She trailed off.

By then Lauren was draped over the back of the couch, gasping for breath. Hermione tried to tackle Lauren as she got up, but the toilette paper tightened around her ankles as she stepped forward and Hermione went sprawling across the floor.

"LAUREN!"

"Yes?" She looked innocently down at her friend.

"GET THIS OFF OF ME!"

"Yes Mummy…" Lauren giggled as Hermione glared at her the best she could with her face mashed into the fuzzy peach-coloured carpet.

"That was _so_ funny, Lauren, simply _hilarious_."

"I know, wasn't it?" Bowing, she grabbed her wand and, with a flick, everything was back to normal. "Happy now—AHH!"

Hermione threw a pink pillow with pink frills and pink sequins all over it. Lauren pulled the pillow from her mouth, spitting out pink threads.

"See how much fun you can have when you aren't being a bookworm?" Hermione stuck her tongue out as Lauren continued, "C'mon, please? You know you want to. And plus, you owe me for giving that guy from the other day that nice eye decoration. He'll have to wear make-up to cover it up," Lauren added in a singsong voice, "and you should know how much guys just hate make-up."

She thought for a minute and sighed, "Oh, fine. But I am NOT singing."

An hour later, the girls found themselves seated at a bar, lights flashing and music blasting around them, with a lovely collection of glasses on the counter. They were singing at the top of their lungs.

"JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY. OH WHAT FUN, IT IS TO RIDE, IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH, HEY!"

Lauren fell back onto her stool as she tried to laugh her head off and down a margarita at the same time. Hermione was using the counter to support her as she gasped for air to continue howling with laughter.

"I got to go pee," Hermione's words were slurred as she stumbled away to find a bathroom, "don't start another song without me!"

"Okay!" Lauren turned to the man, rather drunk himself, who had just sat down beside her. "Hey, how's it going? Merry Christmas! Let's dance!"

With that she pulled the guy onto the dance floor.

"I post-it notes are so cool! They're colourful! And hog-dogs are EVIL!" Lauren cried out.

"I KNOW!" The guy shouted.

"And they come in letters and shapes!"

"And the ones in the big stacks that you can swirl, those are AWSOME!"

"Post-its rule!"

When Hermione came back, she found Lauren snogging a guy with flaming red hair and sporting a black eye poorly concealed with some cover-up that didn't even match his skin tone. She couldn't quite figure out why he was familiar so she dismissed the thought and sat back down ordering another drink. By then, Lauren had to take a breath and chose to introduce her new boyfriend.

"Heather! This is Ro hiccup ald!"

"Hello! Sing some more with us!" Hermione cried out loudly. "Any suggestions?"

"Hermione?"

"Hmm… never heard of it."

"No, Hermione, it's me… Ron."

"Ron?" Her mind cleared slightly, just enough for her to realize exactly who Ron was and drag Lauren away.

"Later sexy!" Lauren called out and waved as she followed her arm out the door.

"Lauren, that was Ron!"

"Well, duh," Lauren started then noticed the frantic look in Hermione's eyes. "Wait, you mean the guy who got you pregnant?"

* * *

Serlene- Yes, mean is fun evil grin . I'm their evil overlord so if I say roll over, they have to roll over! Muahahahahaha… yeah… clears throat Anyway, to your question: Kind of, not exactly. The whole Ron-Hermione-Mystery Guy thing is still a mess in my mind. 


End file.
